Wife of a Cancer Patient

I've been thinking about this post for a while, unsure where to even start.  As many of you know, on Tuesday, June 22th my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer.  Today, he is cancer free.  In fact, we only knew of his cancer for 6 days before he was cancer free.  In the next posts I will try to relate our experience.  Some of it may be graphic, but hopefully it can help someone.

About 2 months prior to diagnosis, my husband started to feel fatiqued, some mild lower stomach cramping and occasional diarrhea.  Before this, he just had some blood in his stool which we attributed to his weight lifting.  Over the next 2 months, these symptoms gradually got worse.  My husband went to his doctor where they did a physical exam.  His family doctor suspected irritable bowel or inflammatory bowel and referred him to a general surgeon to schedule a colonoscopy.  In the meantime, Dan's symptoms got to be so bad, that we could only leave the house for a couple hours, before he would need to use the bathroom and his cramping would double him over.  He couldn't make it through the day without having to rest in the afternoon.

On the 17th Dan had his colonoscopy.  The Dr. said that the colonoscopy was not able to be completed because there was a blockage of tissue in the way in the sigmoid portion of his colon..  The passage through the obstruction was less than the width of a pinky finger.  He said that we would need to have a virtual colonoscopy using a CT scan. 

He had taken a biopsy of the tissue, but he suspected either inflammatory bowel, Crohn's Disease, or some sort of tissue damage due to taking a hit/kick to that area.  He said other, less likely diagnoses would be diverticulitis although this was also very unlikely because of his diet, colon cancer, but because Dan was so young, very unlikely, a TB infection, but because we haven't traveled out of the country this was pretty much out of the question as well as a parasite.  The good news, was it wasn't ulcerative colonitis.  The bad news, we didn't know how much of his colon was affected.

So, we scheduled the virtual colonoscopy and a follow up appointment with the Dr. to hopefully get a diagnosis.  At this point, we were frustrated because we were hopeful for some answers. 

On Sunday June 27th, Dan again had to undergo another bowel prep before the virtual colonoscopy Monday morning.  At this point, the bowel prep from the 1st colonoscopy really helped with his symptoms and he started to drink more protein shakes to prevent pain and bloating.  So, the 2nd bowel prep wasn't as bad (so he said) knowing his symptoms would be relieved for a little while.  Monday we went in early for a blood draw which ended up being not needed.  Dan went back into radiology for the procedure while I waited in the waiting room.  Apparently this is worse then the regular colonoscopy, and usually patients are still sedated when they have a virtual colonoscopy, but Dan wasn't.

Tuesday we went in to see the Dr. in the morning.  He walked us through the first colonoscopy results showing us pictures of the blockage, and then he brought up the pathology report. 

He said the biopsy showed an glandular tumor, or an adenocarcinoma. 

The doctor went on to show us the CT scan which showed a clean liver and his intestinal lymph nodes which appear to be a normal size.  His recommended treatment was to remove a foot of Dan's colon (remove the descending and sigmoid colon), reconnect the two ends, and hopefully that would be all of the tumor, and Dan would be free and clear to live his life.  As long as the tumor had remained inside the walls of the colon and hadn't spread anywhere, that would be all the treatment he would need.

Nothing I can write can explain to you what it is like to sit across the room and hear your husband has cancer.  Immediately flashes of emaciated, bald, cancer patients flash through your mind.  Thoughts of chemo, radiation, and hospital rooms fill your head.  Anything that remotely resembles a reasonable thought leaves your mind and your brain shuts down.  How could my healthy, mma fighter be sick?  Nothing prepares you for this.  Nothing prepares you for watching your husband hear this news. 

Dan and I scheduled the surgery for Monday the 28th with the nurse who started to cry.  You know its bad when even the nurse cries.  At this point, all we can think about is getting the cancer out, and doing whatever it takes to get that done.

That, and how do we tell the family?  How do you tell a mother her son has cancer?  His father? brother? sister? grandparents? Aunt? Uncles?  Friends?  How do you bring someone into this nightmare when all you want to do is wake up?